41822) I’m a normal weight for my height so no one suspects that I might have an eating disorder. I’m not sure at this point either; how can I be sick if I’m not even thin?

(Source: confessionsabouteatingdisorders)

fucking ACT prep is on saturdays.

“Prepping you for the future is more important then being out at the barn”

Fuck you bitch. You have no idea what the fuck it means to me to be at the barn. The barn keeps me sane, keeps me functional, keeps me alive. Want to take that away? Good bye. Not to mention what is the point of me taking the goddamn ACT or SAT anyways? Its thanks to her that I am going to fucking community college. 

If you really took a good look at me you might finally realize how weak I really am. 

no more chocolate

I gave it up for ‘lent’. 

Not really. I couldnt give a shit about lent. What I care about is the sad fact that I am so far behind in my weightloss that by the time summer hits I will still probably be above 120. I dont want to be there. I want to be 110-115 by then. I want to be able to wear a bikini and not feel disgusting. I want to have to punch more holes in my belts. I want to be able to ride echo and not have her back hurt. I want to be a feather on king. I think that once I can be at 125 it will get easier. The first 5 are hard but I can do it. Anything under 120 is semi acceptable. 

So yeah. No more chocolate. 

I’m really tired of people telling me that I’m not living up to my potential. When will they realize that its hard enough for me to just keep living?

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